Feb. 11th, 2010

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This week, for whatever reason, has been a little bizarre.

Yesterday, a guy assholing his way through the crowd on the way to work cut into foot traffic while adjusting his headphones with his left arm. That means his elbow cracked me right in the face, which sucks, but it happens. However, he also caught my headphones, and he was showing his way through the crowd so hard that in the split-second after he hit me, he had withdrawn his arm and yanked my headphones off my head in the process, and then without stopping or turning around, disentangled himself and threw the headphones into the street.

I would like to insert a story that ends with the cops dragging me off him as he tries to pull the remnants of his designer suit back over his shoulders, but let's face it: I am not fond of real-life violence, and I would never harm a designer suit on purpose. Instead, I delivered what at some point in my life must have been a really venomous retort.

"YOU HAVE NO MANNERS, DUDE."

...that'll show him!

At some point I should take a picture of what my headphones look like now. They are a mess, to the point that the pads around the ears have been ripped off and there are bare wires hanging out of the cord; this dude had some serious torque going. I'm just happy he didn't rip my glasses off. (I saw that episode of the Twilight Zone. That is no joke.)

Bonus: this morning, I woke up with a pinched nerve in my arm. Since pinched nerves are annoying by nature, and I have no pain threshold to speak of, whenever I overextend it by accident I gasp and/or hiss. I sound like a Victorian tea party interrupted by snake attack. (Bonus?)

I think this would be a non-issue except that I can't go home and nurse it, since I'm seeing The Wolfman at midnight to review it for Tor.com. The good news is, nothing cures what ails you like Anthony Hopkins gnawing contentedly on some scenery. Can't wait.

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Genevieve Valentine

September 2010

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