glvalentine: (costume)
I have come to accept that The Secret of Moonacre, about whose costumes I have already written much, will never see release in the States because of magical reasons of which I am unaware but probably involve dragons and things. So, I will have to make up this damn movie myself. Luckily, the best website in the world The Costumer's Guide, had a link to some new costume stills, so like photos of a crime scene, I can use these to piece together what's happened.

P.S. From these pictures, what happened is not good.



Oh, you can run, young heroine, but you can't hide.

Funny you mention a crime scene… )
glvalentine: (omg no)
You know how sometimes the American Girl dolls are just slutty, and they all go to school and have adventures and other things that make them into uppity independent harpies you just can't stomach?

Well, Life of Faith dolls have you covered.

They've created a line of dolls based on "classic Christian literature" (The Bible?) for your little homeschooler to cradle at night when she doesn't have any other friends because you don't let her play with the heathen children.

Let's go shopping, shall we? (Disclaimer: the dolls have some serious Harry Potter names going on. I just report the news.)

First we have Kathleen McKenzie, the creepy baby:



The otherwise-unremarkable doll description includes:

"Kathleen is fully-jointed so she can sit, stand, and be posed in many fun positions. True to her enthusiastic style, Kathleen can even lift her arms in grateful triumph or put her hands together in faithful prayer."


It just gets worse. Stop here if dolls and/or lack of female agency freak you out. )
glvalentine: (Default)
Push, coming out this month, is a tender story of cultural - and emotional - loneliness. A cinematic child of Lost in Translation, Push is a story about a man who feels lost in a world he doesn't understand, and the effect two quiet women have on the course of his life during one chilly summer in someplace that looks vaguely Hong Kong-y. Or, like the future. People are lonely in the future; it could work.



We begin with our hero, Joe Caucasian, and his sidekick, Young Lady Where Are Your Tights.

Seriously. Judging by his kicky layers, it's cold outside! )
glvalentine: (Default)
So I wrote up a movie death match for Tor.com between Inkheart and Bedtime Stories (totally not a fair fight, since one has Adam Sandler in it and automatically loses forever), and as a surprise to no one, Inkheart is more awesome.

And the more I poked around the Inkheart stills, the more awesome it looks. It's book porn, coat porn, and Awesome British Actor Camp porn. Featuring Helen Mirren and a unicorn. Sold!



Any movie that has a scene in a book market is okay by me. )
glvalentine: (costume)
Three unrelated costume things make up a post, right? Whatever, they totally do.

1. In Manchester, some enterprising folk stumbled across an enormous amber necklace from what appears to be 4,000 B.C. They politely rant and rave and skillfully avoid the Ye Old Blinge joke I just made, because it's not like the BBC are interviewing me, and let's face it, if they were, I'd still say Ye Olde Blinge. Then I'd make finger guns at the reporter.

2. Michael Fassbender is in a new British miniseries. As soon as I can cobble some pictures together and find some awesome YouTube vids set to Evanescence songs, you'll know more!

3. The Secret of Moonacre has some new stills, and I am falling OUT over these costumes. They are just gorgeous.



Click for a bigger image of this amazing jacket. Also, of Bob the Rabbit in the middle of an important Mayoral conference.


Two more, with stinkface! )
glvalentine: (costume)
So I wrote Fantasy's Guide to Holiday Fashion as a spoof of all those horrible "Here are the best dresses for the party scene!" articles you see everywhere at the end of the year. Hint: I don't go to parties. I don't want dresses for imaginary parties. Show me pleats or keep it moving!

Entertainment Weekly, in an attempt to fill a slideshow quota, put up Five Movie Costumes That Could Hit The Costume Hall of Fame, which I am pretty sure does not actually exist. Also, they chose end-of-year party-type dresses that really makes this piece a "How to Dress for the Holidays" without really saying so. Also, I have some notes.

Their #1: Nicole Kidman's cheongsam in Australia.



O RLY? )
glvalentine: (Default)
So, in my weekly scouring of the Costumer's Guide, I ran across a still from a new movie, The Secret of Moonacre.



Now, that's a lovely dress, so of course I rush to find out what sort of awesome-costume movie this is.

And, uh, the posters are not promising. )
glvalentine: (Default)
I walked by a movie theatre this morning and realized how long it's been since I went to the movies (which is for the best, since I tend to loathe people). But I had forgotten about movie posters!

As in, forgotten how hilarious they are, in one way or another. Let's take a look at some movie posters!



We begin with an indie romp, clearly indicated by the presence of symbolically-colored umbrellas and Mark Ruffalo. )

"Bathory."

Jul. 23rd, 2008 01:34 pm
glvalentine: (Default)
Originally this was a costume post, but the more I read about the movie the more I became totally entranced by the levels of crazy surrounding this movie and I had to share.

Bathory tells the story of Countess Erzsébet Báthory, one of the most famous sadists and serial killers in history. Fine; it's a really dark story, but clearly it's compelling enough that they've already made another one, starring Ethan Hawke (!!). Why shouldn't Anna Friel get in on it, right?

Well, according to the producers, "Bathory is based on the legends surrounding the life and deeds of Countess Elizabeth Bathory known as the greatest murderess in the history of mankind. Contrary to popular belief, Elizabeth Bathory was a modern Renaissance woman who ultimately fell victim to mens [sic] aspirations for power and wealth."

Huh.

Okay, sure she spoke four languages, and there's no doubt politics ruled her entire life (what with being nobility). But unless she was framed for, you know, a hundred murders, the filmmakers have their work cut out for them.



Help me make the music of the niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…. )
glvalentine: (Default)
It's time for another Fun with Lobby Cards, wherein I take some promo photos from upcoming movies and try to guess what the hell the movie's supposed to be about.

Last time, The Duchess of Langeais showed her true colors.

This time, we go into the future - the future… A.D.

Join me for a tour through this Vin Diesel / Michelle Yeoh / Gerard Depardieu / Charlotte Rampling gem.



In the future, everyone lives in a 1998 Britney Spears video. )
glvalentine: (Default)
KGB last night was really interesting; horror is not my favorite genre (it raises my blood pressure, which really does not need to be raised any higher, trust me), but all four of last night's stories were really well-crafted and read very well and was a great example of how horror can be deliciously creepy. Good stuff.

Then I had to run to tango, which meant no dinner. Next time!

This week's movie obsession is The Duchess of Langeais, which looks to be awesome: both understated and over-the-top, two great tastes that taste great together.

However, I really want to ask the publicity department about some stuff, because judging from the pictures, this movie could be about ANYTHING. Observe the narrative I've had to cobble together myself based on the promotional stills:



This is the Duchess of Langeais. You know what she's into?

Neon. )

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Genevieve Valentine

September 2010

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