Mar. 6th, 2009 11:47 am
glvalentine: (nerd alert)
So, I saw Watchmen last night at midnight!

The official review is up at

Unofficial, spoiler-riddled thoughts below. Keep in mind I have been awake for, uh, a lot of hours, so not everything is here. I'll think of more.

Fun fact: there was a guy in my theatre balcony who wore a knit cap with a brim and talked a lot of shit with his friends, and a guy directly in front of me who called Zack Snyder "Brechtian" in a tone that indicated he clearly pulled a descriptor out of his ass, and then went on to talk about 300 as a narrative of malehood or something. All I'm saying is, it's lucky for them I don't have the magical ability to make people's heads explode.

I'm also saying that, if you wear a knit cap with a little brim, you are just asking for someone to slap you behind your head. You can't see who did it! you have a little blinder on top!

Anyway, whatever, I saw the movie.

Look on my works, ye mighty… )
glvalentine: (nerd alert)
Everything is in place for tomorrow, where I will stand in line for the midnight show of Watchmen. (Check out Friday morning for semi-coherent thoughts, and then right back here for the review I wrote during the last stretch before the coffee kicked in. Ye will know them by their word salad.)

If the line proves as mythic as the line for Twilight, I might keep some notes, but in an attempt to stay awake through Friday after close of business, I will conserve energy like a lizard sunning on a desert rock, preparing for the big push.

I do have a one-dollar bet that someone will dress up as Dr. Manhattan. I would be willing to take an additional one-dollar bet* that someone, uh, won't dress as Dr. Manhattan, if you get me. Speedo counts. Any takers?

As usual, if I am trampled to death in a flood of fans, I wish you well, when you see a shitty movie on Sci Fi, think of me, etc.

* I bet big, baby.
glvalentine: (nerd alert)
Oh, ONTD. 90% of the time you are Jensen Ackles picspams. 10% of the time, you are gold.

Scenes from the new sitcom "I Love Rorschach."

glvalentine: (nerd alert)
New Watchmen photos are out, and I give Zack Snyder credit for doing his homework over on

Seriously, this is shaping up to be an aesthetically careful adaptation. However, I am (finally) beginning to worry that the movie will be too badass for the book. I mean, how much of this movie is gonna end up in slow motion? (My guess: 70%.)

Then I look at Veidt's purple blazer and realize that everyone will look just as pathetic as they're supposed to. (Where do you even FIND fabric that color? Damn.)

Also, seriously, too much Dr. Manhattan. I get it; he's blue. Show me more Minutemen!
glvalentine: (Default)
So at today I'm talking about the new Watchmen portraits and what these might mean in terms of the adaptation from page to screen. The answer is mostly, "It looks good! TOO GOOD. Also, Laurie, go put on some pants. What are you, nine?"

However, anyone who has read an X-Men comic knows that Laurie got off easy. You know whose costume really sucked? Casablanca-records-sponsored mutant Dazzler! Who I hate. Let me show you why!

That's not even why. That's just how the poor thing looks.

Disclaimer: I am not well-versed on this; in a conversation about comics, I'm out-comic'ed in about two minutes. All I know is what I read as a thirteen-year-old, instead of leaving my room ever. That was mostly X-Men.

But seriously, Dazzler sucks.

She had her own miniseries back in the day, inexplicably called "Beauty and the Beast," where she flipped out because of the pressures of fame and couldn't control her power and had to go to Heartbreak Hotel (actual name) and attempt some mutant rehab. Meanwhile, Beast is all, "How about we go to the State Fair on Tuesday? I have my dad's car for the weekend," and she's all, "I can't believe that you, who are ugly, have more control than I, the beautiful one!"

You can start reading the synopsis of the series here, but I got acid flashbacks and had to stop.

The thing I most remember is her talking to the young girl who lives/works there, and finds out her mutant power is that she can change the color of a flower. Seeing this, Dazzler thinks, and I quote, "Hmm…makes sense that nature would have scattered a few lesser powers among all us big-time mutants," which is pretty big talk for a woman whose power is basically to channel garage bands into the Fiesta Texas nightly laser show.

She sucks, is what I'm saying.

And what I'm really saying is, it never hurts to have good-looking costumes in your movie, but I have a sneaking hope that even in awesome latex costumes, everyone is still as lame as they should be. Right, Dazzler? (Oh yeah, I went there.)
glvalentine: (Default)
New Watchmen Photos are up.

Largely spoiler-free take: This looks by far like the most faithful Alan Moore movie adaptation; not that I expect him to emerge from his lair and go see it, but I'm excited to see stills from a movie that looks like it took the graphic novel seriously. (I actually like V for Vendetta as a film [haters to the left!], but it's like a second cousin of the graphic novel, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was like a guy at a frat party overheard someone in a back room explaining part of the premise and was like, "Holy crap, I am going to make the SHIT out of this movie!" So for me these pictures are very exciting.)

ETA: The comments have some minor spoilers.
glvalentine: (nerd alert)
Judge rules in favor of Fox about Watchmen distribution, will make shitloads of money from a property it didn't even want until it realized the fans were excited about it.

Don't affect the release date, at least, you jerks.
glvalentine: (Default)
Yes, I went. Yes, I liveblogged.

No, my nose did not get broken. People were uniformly pacifist, which was greatly upsetting, but if you could get past the politeness and orderly behavior, there was a lot to love. And some girl might have a broken nose, actually. You'll see.

Fun fact: the Regal Union Square is a black hole of internet connectivity. I took notes for as long as I could bear it, and typed them up today, blearily. It's a blast from the past! SCIENCE.

glvalentine: (nerd alert)
No matter what your feelings are on next year's Watchmen movie (and mine are mixed), this is a beautiful example of what editing and music can do to elevate a trailer. I had been underwhelmed by the previous iterations of the trailer to the point that I had decided not to see the movie. I mean, when your opening is Billy Crudup doing his Joaquin Phoenix impression for the first twenty seconds, you're not really going to entice me into a theatre. Let's just face it.

HOWEVER. I have watched this trailer a dozen times in the last two days. The song at the end, Muse's "Take a Bow", is expertly applied (MUCH better suited than the Smashing Pumpkins). The editing, even though it largely recycles from previous trailers, is so much better in this one that I didn't realize until my second go-through I was watching the same shots.

What I'm saying is, it's probably better than the movie's going to be. Plus, you know, great example of a well-edited trailer, blah blah blah nerdcakes.

PS. My favorite part is her hair at the end. (Neeeerd.)

PPS. Except she turns clockwise, then starts running with her right side! It doesn't make any physical sense, and it bugs me. A lot. Quantum people, totally fine. Turning clockwise and then running with your right leg? I don't think so, young lady!


glvalentine: (Default)
Genevieve Valentine

September 2010

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